Chief Squirrel

Chief Squirrel Wrangler



PurveyorS of Mirth & Merriment

Member of the Artisanal Guild of Holistic HumourISTS

About Me

My name is Sian, and I am the owner, creator, designer, chicken tamer and chief squirrel wrangler extraordinaire at Urban Stitches.

I design cross stitch and blackwork patterns for people who want to be heard, for those who want to chuckle while they stitch and for individuals that just love a bloody good swear word. Or two.

I live in the South West of England with my 2 children, husband, 2 fluffy cats and 1 rather cumbersome clumsy dog.

About squirrels

I have an elite team of squirrels who scour the odd corners of internet (and occasionally binge watch daytime TV) looking for the best misfit ideas. They pick out the juiciest nuggets, bury them in strange and unusual patterns and wait for them to grow into charts for you to purchase.

They have been rigorously trained to only forage for the ripest ideas and unearth the choicest memes by a strict regime of being woken early, having a cold shower, being given coffee on tap and then handed a toddler to look after for half an hour. From there, only the most on-the-ball squirrels go on to perform a thorough internet search for new ideas by 7am.

About cross stitch

I get a great sense of satisfaction from observing the diligence of the team and growing those ideas into a pattern that will look amazing gracing a wall, adorning a cubicle, or as pride of place hanging over the loo – creating that very special je ne sais quoi (as the squirrels say) that your fingers have been twitching to tell everyone about.

There is a special zen-like moment during stitching that helps clear your head and reduces stress.  The uncomplicated nature of following a pattern and producing a cross stitched item is both relaxing and fulfilling.

About my cross stitch patterns

Each and every one of my patterns is designed by me individually. I do not use software to automatically churn out masses of patterns from pictures from the internet – I manually create every picture and every font you see. This is important for several reasons:

  • The cross stitch patterns you buy from me are designed to be stitched – not just scanned by software. 
  • I check that the colours go well together, that the symbols in the pattern are easily discernible between each other; and that both the pattern and the end stitch feel right.
  • I agonise over whether the use of more advanced cross stitch techniques such as backstitching and French knots add to a pattern or not.
  • I listen to your feedback – and because I use my knowledge and skills to create the cross stitch patterns I can change those patterns – and I do. I have improved several patterns based on feedback from you. 
  • My patterns don’t breach copyright or licences. 

Although I live in the UK the majority of my customers are based in America and Canada. Therefore where I can I provide my patterns in American English and British English – but I do tend to focus on the American English spelling first.

It is always possible – despite my best efforts – that I make an error on a pattern. Fortunately these are very rare – but they have happened. If you find such an error please let me know – I will change the pattern and am always quite grateful for all feedback.

about subscribing

To receive updates on new patterns; obtain exclusive discounts; win free stuff; influence the designs; enter competitions and other such shenanigans,  follow me on Facebook and Instagram.

For when i am famous

I am a compelling figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. By day I am a fighter of crime, by night an infamous cross stitcher.

I was scouted by the Queens Own Guard, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. On Wednesdays, after work, I perform recitals of obscure limericks free of charge. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Haiti.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid on time. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only couscous and a toaster. I breed prizewinning shelfish. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

The laws of physics do not apply to me.

In case you’re wondering, my favourite dinosaur is Pachycephalosaurus and my favourite colour is pizza.
About Us

Employee of the Month

All of the squirrels work hard, however there are a few of the team members who have been working especially hard recently.

About Us

Nut Support

Trev is a squirrel of many talents. He supports anything to do with nuts, currently he’s supporting Steve’s nuts. Steve is head of Quality Nut Control.

Trev plays on the company’s extreme D&D team on weekends.

About Us


Carol has recently joined the team and works on reception.

Most of her day is spent on the phone, making sure the loos are fully stocked with toilet paper, and hiding the extra pens from Steve.

In her spare time she likes to dance, mostly ballroom and Latin.

About Us

Hugo Hugoson

Hugo is an exchange student who has been on the nut selection line for a few weeks now.

He hopes to travel once life has calmed down a bit.

Previous Squirrel Employees of The Month

About Us

Customer Support

Dave is one of a handful of squirrels who searches out pattern ideas and runs the social media accounts.

He has recently been learning to cook and can whip up a mean cheese soufflé.

About Us

Clive Nordman
IT Support

Clive works in IT Support. There is nothing he can’t do with a widget.

He enjoys tennis and has taken up scuba diving in the pond over quarantine.